Oops
by Verseidious
Summary: In which Tseng accidentally turns Reno into a prostitute.
1. Oops

Reno thought himself to be a very clever Turk; one that could figure out every detail from the most minute of things.

So when Tseng handed him a stack of papers, mentioning that among them was a briefing for a mission, Reno didn't bother to ask for any other information pertaining to it.

Thus, he soon found himself mulling over the hidden meanings of a picture.

It wasn't something all that fancy, looking to be from old security feeds from before Meteor destroyed Midgar.

All it showed was what he assumed to be a prostitute standing in Don Corneo's mansion.

At first, Reno thought that perhaps it had something to do with Corneo. But, no. If that were the case, the image would probably have had him in it, or he would have received something casually mentioning him.

After a few moments, he decided that he was supposed to pose as a lady of the night to for some information gathering.

Or at least a person of the night. He wasn't sure how well he could pull off being a woman.

Why Tseng had used this image to relay that, he had no idea.

Snorting to himself, Reno carefully tucked the image away and started planning.

Though, he couldn't help but wonder why the woman in the picture, with somewhat spiky blonde hair pulled into pig-tails and wearing a purple dress, looked so familiar to him.

_One week later..._

It had been a good week for Tseng. A very good week. Plans had been laid out and, today, were going to come to fruition.

After years of being unable to get Cloud Strife to work for Neo-Shinra, Rufus had passed the task onto him, and he had finally found something that would... persuade him.

Blackmail.

He had stumbled upon it by chance, really, going through old Shinra documents and security feeds that had survived the destruction of Midgar.

An image of Cloud, dressed in drag, standing in what had once been Don Corneo's mansion.

He was one-hundred-percent certain that the blond would rather not have that get passed around.

Or put out onto the net.

Grinning to himself, Tseng pulled open a desk drawer, searching through sifting through various folders for the image.

Pulling the contents out of one of the folders, his grin slowly faded into a frown.

The picture wasn't in the folder.

Instead was...

The briefing he had supposedly given to Reno a week ago.

Suddenly, Tseng was all too well aware of why Reno had been practicing putting on make-up the other day.


	2. Whoops

Around the time that Tseng had realized his mistake, Reno was sitting in Seventh Heaven, nursing a drink in a corner.

Despite receiving it a week ago, he had yet to make any headway on his assignment.

Whatever his assignment was.

He was starting to wonder if this was not just some elaborate ruse, a joke played out for far too long.

But Tseng wasn't the joking type, and the woman did look rather familiar to him. So here he was, staring at that picture, wondering just _what_ he was supposed to do or find.

He'd already exhausted all of the possibilities. Find the woman. Get information on the woman. The woman was inconsequential and he needed to gather information, either from some prostitute or posing as one. There was a monster running around that looked like a lady of the night preying on hapless victims for some reason (even though there hadn't been any unexplained deaths in Edge recently) and his own good charms were the only thing that could bring it down.

Grumpy and starting to get rather frustrated, he opted to ignore the shadow falling over him.

Until he could have sworn he heard whoever it was make a noise like a dying chocobo.

"What?" he asked as he glanced up to the side, trying to keep the irritation out of his voice.

Cloud Strife, he noted, was the one standing there- and presumably had been the one to make the noise- looking as if he was trying to mask his horror at something, and failing at it.

"It's just a picture of a prostitute, yo," Reno stated, irritation fading into something of amusement, and then into curiosity. How had this managed to provoke a horrified reaction from the usually unflappable man? "And I'm not jacking off under the table to it if that's what you're worried about."

Cloud made another noise, though this one much less like the sound of a dying chocobo and more of a disgusted grumble, his face falling into a more neutral arrangement before he spoke, a dangerous edge to his voice, "Where did you get that from?"

"Why, you want a copy?" Reno glanced back at the image. Really there was nothing all that spectacular about it. He then looked back at Cloud, paused for a moment, looked back at the image again, and then back and forth a few times before it dawned on him, "Wait, holy shit, is that _you_ in this, yo?"

Cloud made a noise that was definitely the sound of a dying chocobo, Reno was sure, and made a made grab for the picture.

Being too caught up in this revelation (one that he should of realized sooner, since he _knew_ that Cloud had somehow once infiltrated Don Corneo's mansion, and the hair _was_ similar) he could only stare dumbly as the picture was whisked away.

Cloud was then glaring at him, as if expecting answers, but Reno's mind was now trying to figure out just what to do with this information, so the only answer given was an absent-mindedly stated "Tseng."

And with that, Cloud stalked off, probably to go have a talk with, or kill, Tseng.

Reno figured that Tseng was going to be very unhappy with him later (if Tseng was still alive later), as that picture could have been used for blackmail! Had probably even been the original intent.

And then it was Reno's turn to sound like a dying chocobo because he realized that he had been posing as a prostitute for the past week for no reason.

Reno did not feel like a very clever Turk now.

* * *

This was supposed to just be a silly little drabble that I wrote at 3 AM that's now turned into a silly little two-shot. This is probably a good thing since I've only just now noticed that FF decided to unmark this as 'complete.' I probably should have just added this onto the first part instead of making it it's own chapter, but the fact that there's dialogue in this one makes me feel otherwise.


End file.
